Mary and Martha: Trends and Worship Lessons Worth Knowing

If you've been following along in my Mary and Martha series, we left off standing in front of a tomb. A stone was rolled away. And a dead man walked out.

Lazarus was alive!

If you missed any of the first three posts ("Are You More Like Mary or Martha?", "When Jesus Doesn't Come When You Call", and "Standing at the Tomb with Mary and Martha"), I'd really encourage you to go back and start from the beginning.

That way you've walked the whole journey.

But for now, let's step into the final scene!

Take a second and picture this.

There's a dinner party. Jesus is the guest of honor. And Lazarus…the man who was dead, buried, wrapped in grave clothes, four days in a tomb…is sitting at the table. He’s eating, he’s breathing, he’s alive.

Can you imagine being at that dinner? I don’t know about you, but I don't think I'd be able to stop staring at Lazarus and thinking, you were dead!

And then there's Martha.

She's serving…again.

Now, if you remember the last time we saw Martha serving, she was frustrated, distracted, and anxious. She was so consumed with doing things for Jesus that she missed being with Jesus. And He (gently) called her out on it.

But there’s no complaint here as she serves.

I can’t help but think of this transformation. Her starting from a place of frustration and anxiety. Then she watched her brother die, then grieved. Then she told Jesus exactly how she felt, confessed her faith while her heart was still breaking. And then she watched God do the impossible.

That changes a person!

I think about the things I've encountered in my own life. All of the things that have frustrated me, and all of the things that didn't make sense at the time. And how different I am on the other side. I can’t take credit for any of it, this is God working in and through me.

Every single time we see Mary in this story, she's at Jesus' feet.

In the living room…sitting at His feet, listening.

Outside the tomb…collapsed at His feet, weeping.

And now, at this dinner…kneeling at His feet, worshipping.

But this time, she’s pouring pure nard. If you're not familiar, this was an incredibly expensive perfume. We're talking about a year's wages. A year!

And instead of anointing His head (which was the custom), she pours it on His feet. And then she does something that would have shocked everyone in the room. She lets down her hair and wipes His feet with it.

In that culture, a woman letting down her hair in public was basically scandalous.

And then this added detail, the fragrance filled the entire house.

To me, that means that everyone there knew what Mary had done. They could see it. They could smell it.

Mary gave something that cost her everything, yet she gave it like it was nothing. Because compared to what Jesus had done for her family, what else could she possibly hold back?

It makes me think of my own worship. A lot of the time, I fit worship into my schedule when it's convenient for me. It doesn't really cost me anything.

I think it’s because full worship usually costs me something, my pride, comfort, time. My plans.

What would it look like to pour it all out?

Of course someone had something to say.

Even reflecting on my own words above, Judas’ response sounds totally reasonable (on the surface). A year's wages is a lot of money! Think of all the people that could've been helped. Think of all the practical things that could've been done.

But that’s not the point, nor is it the whole story, right? Judas wasn’t worried about the poor. He was stealing from the money bag.

Isn’t it interesting that the person who criticized Mary's worship had the worst motives in the room?

How many times have I thought someone else’s devotion was too much, over-the-top? How many times have I judged others because their expression of worship looked different from mine?

I’ve made the mistake of thinking that being practical and being devoted were the same thing. They're not always.

Have you ever held back from doing something generous, vulnerable, or over-the-top for God, because you were worried about what other people in the room would think?

(You can’t see me, but my hand is raised).

And Jesus both defends and honors her immediately.

Mary was also preparing Him for burial. In just a few days, Jesus would be arrested, crucified, and buried. Mary may not have fully understood what was coming. But Jesus did. And He received her offering knowing what it meant.

Sometimes we do things out of obedience or love, and we don't fully understand why. We just feel led, and logically, it doesn't make any sense. There’s no way to really explain it.

And I think that’s ok! Like we're not supposed to understand it in the moment, but we should still be obedient to God’s call.

Give when the budget said don't. Stay when everything said leave. Forgive when everything in me said they don't deserve it.

And later (sometimes much, much, much later), I could see why. Not always! But sometimes.

Mary poured out everything she had. And it turned out to be one of the most significant acts of worship recorded in all of Scripture. She couldn't have known that at the time.

She loved Him and she held nothing back.

So...which one are you?

Yes, I’ve been asking this question throughout this whole series.

In the living room, it was about busyness vs. presence. Are you running around the kitchen or sitting at His feet?

At the tomb, it was about grief. Do you run to meet Jesus like Martha, or fall at His feet like Mary?

Standing in front of the miracle, it was about trust. Do you believe Him even when nothing makes sense?

And now, at the dinner table, I think the question is this….

What are you willing to pour out?

Martha served, but this time with peace. Mary worshipped and she held nothing back.

Two women, same room. Same Jesus. Different expressions, and both honored.

I don't think the point of this story was ever to pick a side.

I think the takeaway was always about the heart behind whatever you're doing. Serving from overflow or from obligation? Worshipping freely or holding back because of judgment?

I can’t pretend that I have this all figured out. Some days I'm Martha in the kitchen, distracted and frustrated. Some days I'm Mary, fully present and ready to give everything.

Probably most days I'm somewhere in between, trying to remember what He's spoken and who He is.

From one Martha-Mary hybrid to another, thank you so much for walking through this series with me! I’ve learned a lot and realize that I still have more to learn.

If any of these posts meant something to you, I'd be so grateful if you shared it with someone who might need it.